OOM: Returning Eunuch

[bigarmy_strangepants]

It is late in the day, and Ragnar is lounging in his room, talking to Athelstan.

He could spend eternity just talking to Athelstan, and then an eternity again with all the other Athelstan-related things.

But they never run out of things to talk about, it seems.

"... will turn seawater into potable water, like making salt, just the other way around," he is saying.

Comments

[athelstanthescribe]

"Do you think Ragnar will understand?" he asks wretchedly. "Why it troubles me to hear him speak so lightly of conquering, before he mentions settling?"

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric nods gently and hugs Athelstan close. "Yes. But he will have trouble forgiving himself for upsetting you."

[athelstanthescribe]

"So many things upset me now. Sometimes I don't even know what will, until it does."

[thewidewideworld]

"Tell him that." He urges gently. "It will help you both find a way to deal with those fears together."

He kisses Athelstan's hair, just holding him as long as he needs.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan leans against him, suddenly tired and near tears.

"And he made bread just because he thought I'd eat it."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric supports him, stroking Athelstan's back. "He made it because he loves you. And will seek every happiness he can for you."

[athelstanthescribe]

"He knows how few they are", he whispers, and starts to push himself to his feet. "I should go and try to eat more of the food."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric nods and stands with him, kissing his cheek. "Go to him. I'll join you in a few minutes." He means to give them some time alone if they need it."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan squeezes his hand, with everything he can't say, and slips back through the door.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric lets him go, gently closing the door behind him and leaning against it.

He takes a couple of slow, deep breaths, trying to cool his own petty frustations and envies and pains at not being able to help them more.

He moves to his dresser and sits, taking the time to comb out his hair, leaving them alone to talk.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar has been sitting with a piece of the bread, picking out an olive now and then.

"Athelstan," he just says.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan drops onto the bed, not particularly gentle with himself.

"You did this nice thing and I spoiled it. I told you I was a burden."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"I know how sensitive you are, and still I talked about conquering people as if that was just a valid option, as in 'Would you like mead or ale?' or something like that," Ragnar says, getting up to flop down on the edge of the bed, but not touching Athelstan uninvited. "And that after I realised just how much you've come to abhor the cruelty of our world. And that after I..."

Pause.

[athelstanthescribe]

Silently, hating himself for it as much as for everything else - for being weak and oversensitive in his own eyes - Athelstan is crying. Regardless, he forces himself to reach for the food and mechanically, begins to eat.

"After you what?" he manages.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"No," Ragnar says. "It'll turn your stomach and upset you even more. It'll go away. I love you."

He reaches over to touch Athelstan's face.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan leans just a little into the touch. "It... you're talking about Jarl Borg?"

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar nods, and strokes Athelstan's cheek with his knuckle.

[athelstanthescribe]

"That was different. The man had to die, he wasn't... he wasn't innocent." Even the method did him a favour, by Viking standards. "It's the suffering of the innocent I've seen" - and caused, and failed to prevent - "too much."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar leans over to kiss Athelstan'S cheek. "Thank you."

His appetite for meat will come back. Definitely.

[athelstanthescribe]

With time, it most likely will. Athelstan is eating the olive bread, dipping it in the soft butter.

"What I want now is just to live in peace. No battles, no - pillaging."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"We might have to fight Ecbert, if he's not amenable," Ragnar says.

[athelstanthescribe]

"You can't settle in his land if he's not amenable", Athelstan points out. "Sooner or later, he'd destroy you."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"So I hope he is amenable, and will talk rather than fight," Ragnar says.

[athelstanthescribe]

"If not, we'll just have to look for somewhere else as good for farmers."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"Which would be so much easier without King Horik!" Ragnar says. "Both parts, really."