OOM: Returning Eunuch

[bigarmy_strangepants]

It is late in the day, and Ragnar is lounging in his room, talking to Athelstan.

He could spend eternity just talking to Athelstan, and then an eternity again with all the other Athelstan-related things.

But they never run out of things to talk about, it seems.

"... will turn seawater into potable water, like making salt, just the other way around," he is saying.

Comments

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric gets up and kisses them both on the temple. "I speak of food and see the map open in your minds." He laughs softly.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"Yes," Ragnar says, "and yes. You tell me about something interesting, Athelstan will find a way to make my plan a lot better and more peaceful, and then we can start thinking. I'd be no good without you."

[athelstanthescribe]

"I don't like the thought of conquest any more", Athelstan says simply, wrapping his arms around his knees.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric moves to embrace Athelstan, pressing cheek to cheek. "Let us be explorers and trainers together. And find new ways to care for the people."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar reaches over to touch Athelstan's arm. "I know," he says. "Why kill people and damage things when one can work with them much better alive and unbroken? And no, I don't want you to see more people suffering, either."

Ragnar is quite glad to be in Milliways where nobody will just serve him a haunch of meat as a matter of course. After carving open Jarl Borg's back, he is currently put off the stuff a bit. He is sure he'll get over it before he goes home, though.

[athelstanthescribe]

"Then why did you even say conquer?" He doesn't pull away, but he's inordinately focused on his bread.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric moves back, giving them both room and reverting to his servant's habits of topping up their tea and letting them talk.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"We are Vikings," Ragnar says. "We're considered dangerous, so it would be wise for people to let us settle somewhere rather than having us conquer the place."

[athelstanthescribe]

"That isn't what you said", he counters, then turns away. "Forget it. I shouldn't have started this."

[thewidewideworld]

"Athelstan?" Sinric holds a hand out to him, trying to draw Athelstan to look at him. "Come, let us talk alone a moment?"

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"I'm sorry," Ragnar says quietly, confused by that reaction.

Athelstan knows that the Vikings won't change their way, does he?

[athelstanthescribe]

It's not the Vikings as a whole he's thinking about.

Athelstan nods silently and goes with Sinric.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric gives Ragnar a reassuring little nod and lead Athelstan into Sinric's own room, closing the door softly.

He leads Athelstan over to the window seat and kneels there in an attitude of prayer, beckoning Athelstan to follow suit.

[athelstanthescribe]

He's never seen Sinric do that, but he sinks to his knees in turn, closing his eyes.

"I expect too much of him", he says quietly.

[thewidewideworld]

He doesn't pray. But he does fold his hand over gently over Athelstan's, knowing after many years as a monk, prayer or not, the posture is one that feels safe, feels familiar. And he hopes helps to make Athelstan feel more at ease.

He doesn't answer but gently urges Athelstan to go on, to get what troubles him off his chest.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan doesn't pray any more. Too many years of only silence in return.

"I thought he wanted what I do. To find somewhere to be in peace. And then the first thing he says is to conquer."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric inches a little closer and gently opens his arms to embrace Athelstan. Or to offer the embrace, should Athelstan want it.

"One day," he says softly, "I shall meet the man that Ragnar was. The man he was before you. And what I expect to see in his eyes is a wildness and fierce curiosity for that world. That wildness you have tempered with wisdom but his fierce curiously flames into blaze still. And I have fanned those flames."

"Talk to him again when he is calm and you will hear the words of the man he is, not the man he was."

[athelstanthescribe]

He leans gratefully into it.

"He hasn't lost that curiosity, and I would never try to take it from him. But I want to see the world, not to plunder it, and the thought of again seeing those who can't fight tormented and killed..."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric shifts closer, unbending one leg to rest against Athelstan's side. "I don't believe Ragnar wants that either. There was a time he did but that has changed in him. Look to the truth of his heart, not the slip of his tongue."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Yes. I'm being unfair, I know."

But walking in Ecbert's lands, he can still hear the women of Winchester screaming.

[thewidewideworld]

"No, beloved, you are acting on the goodness in you that wants to protect and shelter, and do no harm. That is nothing to be ashamed of."

[athelstanthescribe]

"I sat in my tent", he says quietly, "while Horik and his men had their sport with every English woman they could catch, and I did nothing. I could have helped... at least one or two..."

[thewidewideworld]

"I didn't tell Probus what I knew and what I planned to do. He died believing a lie. The regrets of what we didn't do haunt us and always will. All we can do to honour those we failed is choose differently next time."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Do you think Ragnar will understand?" he asks wretchedly. "Why it troubles me to hear him speak so lightly of conquering, before he mentions settling?"

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric nods gently and hugs Athelstan close. "Yes. But he will have trouble forgiving himself for upsetting you."